The end

I keep avoiding writing this post. Like maybe if I don't write it we will still be together. But it happened. My Katimavik experience that started in a little three bedroom home in Lethbridge, Alberta on July 6th, ended in a four bedroom two bath house in Quebec City on December 16th.

Did the last six months actually happen? Did I really disappear for six months...Did I really just do that?

IT DOESN'T SEEM REAL!

Lets see where this goes.
Morgan our little fiery red head who could never throw out her own gum, badass chick number one
Jill The girl who always removed my splinters, who had so much love for all eleven of us. Always a constant smile and a giggle.
Kristen the beautiful tall blonde. Always so nice to everyone, baking cookies when we had a bad day. compliments to everyone.
Jazz My little crazy columbian, I had a crazy girl love for her. She is so perfect and always smiling. trilingual amazingness, I wish I had the talents of Jazz
Helena Love of my life. Also the best partner dancer in the whole world. The girl who always had a good reccommendation of a book, the great writer (Nanowrimo) The strong willed loud outspoken lady.
Cole The BC hippie. Kind hearted and full of smiles. Always looking down on me (Because he was so tall) laughing all the time, mostly at my horrid jokes
Cedric The lovely frenchie. Adding a little bit of french to our mix, with amazing stories. Always with the hugs...Caring about everyone
Connor We had our disagreements, but he stands by his principles, he gave us our group song. He was a great dj for our group, constantly with his music
Sterling Confidence overload? Always willing to help everyone, might not want people to know it but he is a total sweetheart
Willie My ginger, His smiles, his drawings, his all around amazing personality? We worked together, he knows :)

I entered Katimavik on the edge of adulthood. I was overlooking a cliff that seemed like my future. I didn't/don't know what lies at the bottom of that cliff but it terrifies me. Graduation while most people were excitied to be going to school in the fall, I was terrified of that prospect. School to me seemed like the only plausable option, the only option that I seemed to have. Thats what everyone expected of me. Katimavik changed that. I could grow up, avoid the fears that my future and school seemed to bring. I was 18, I wasn't ready to go head to head with my future. Katimavik saved me from going into school and hating it, dropping out and then never going back. Thank you Katimavik.

I have grown up so much in six months. Although I am still terrified of my future I am now ready to face it head on. Little things changed within me during six months. I no longer refuse to talk to people, I don't look at the floor whenever I am walking I look straight ahead, I stand straighter, silly artificial things. But things on a deeper and emotional level changed as well. I learned how to draw on my own strengths as a person, I learned how to work hard and fufill the needs of others. Most important thing I learned is how to say goodbye. It might hurt and the hurt might stay with you, but that just means that you are leaving behind something that you love, something that you will fight for just to keep, just to see once more. As a young adult I have never had to say goodbye to many people and places in such a way, torn ripped away from the things I loved. My heart yearns and calls out to find a place in a Katimavik house once more.

I worked with amazing people, I fell in love with these people. I poured my heart and soul into Katimavik. In the end, does it matter? I'm done. I'm exhausted, but I must continue on, the weary soldier.



I lived a lifetime in six months. How can I even begin to describe it? Helena and I dancing in the streets, Jazz, Helena and I giggling over stupid internet videos, Willie and I working together, Jill, Morgan and I billeting? Sterling telling me to stop looking at my feet, be more confident! Cedric telling me my french is actually okay.

HOW?

The english language cannot allow me to end this tale properly. Only love can end this tale properly. The love of 11 strangers, pulled together by the random draw of a hat. That's life. We lived a life together. We loved each other, underneath everything it was all just LOVE.


One day I wish to call up all of the members of my group and just whisper into the phone "I have our travel plans".... one day I know we shall meet again. This is not goodbye, it will never be goodbye.

I love group 41164, I know we will find our way back one way or another.

Whats in my future? Gosh, I don't even know. But where would the fun be in knowing? I'm just going to see where the wind takes me.

CHOOSE ADVENTURE