“I didn’t realize it, but the days came along one after another, and then two years were gone, and everything was gone, and I was gone.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
So, it's been two years. Two very long years. Katimavik although I am no longer in the program it still affects my life. I'm working on trying to write my "book" as you can see above. It's taking a while but I'm liking how it's looking. It's weird reading this again as I write out my stories and words, it feels as though I didn't write them but I remember stupid little details. I miss them... some days I miss them more than other days. I hate to say this but some days I think about Katimavik and look at our photos and talk to Helena and Willie and Kristen and just get really sad and mopey, then other days I think about Katimavik and nothing... I don't know some days it just makes me so sad and depressed thinking its all over and then other days I'm fine. Weird. But I guess thats with a lot of good things, you have your good memories and bad ones.
So I guess that the big thing that happened this year is that I finally went back to school. My mother was getting pretty distressed that all of her kids weren't going back to school, so I did but I am now grateful that I did. Other than school, I have been truly boring. Trying to work to afford school so I can graduate with little to no student debt, thats pretty much been my life...well that and netflix and tumblr. Seriously my life is pretty weird. All my friends have relationships and I'm just sitting her like I love my laptop...it's my boyfriend. Maybe that will be a goal of mine? To finally experience what it's like to have another human being care so deeply about you...but I guess you cannot plan that happening, I can only wish.
So with my Katima mates...I guess I should write about them. I have no idea what is happening with many of them, I mean I read their facebook but we no longer have our chats. I talk to a few of them Willie, Kristen, occasionally Jill. But I am not fully involved in their lives. Helena is the only one that I know about what's going on in her life. She's living her life and I'm sitting here doing nothing.
Willie did come and see me a few times in the year. I miss that kid, I miss everyone. I just can't exactly bring myself to be like "Hey, let's talk like we used too" it sadly doesn't work like that. I wish I could, but I don't know how they will react to me suddenly being interested. I miss them terribly.
So I still feel very connected with my Katimavik past. It's a part of me completely, I feel like it changed my life. I wear my Katimavik shirt a lot(seriously I'm wearing my got a life shirt as I am writing this) in hopes that I will find more Katimavikers to talk with. I also wear my buttons all the time (which I still have a ton of because I was going to be a recruiter and I haven't gotten rid of them...or given them away to people...) I would love to talk to others about their experience since I can truly relate. I just wanna breathe in others experiences, and just be able to understand how someone feels.
I am now however trying to move on with my life. I am currently attending SFU (Simon Fraser University) I love it there, all my history classes, the teachers/professors. I do wish that I had the social skills however because it would be nice to have one friend. I just can't talk to people so I end up just hiding in a corner and reading. I mean it's nice but not what I truly wanted from university...maybe next semester I will be more outgoing...HA! I am very socially awkward, one of the girls I had class with laughed when I said that and then wanted to "add" me on facebook so maybe I technically have made a friend? That being said it's been two years since I have been in a classroom and two years since I have done homework and everything, it's a lot more difficult than I remember. It's horrible being a straight A student in high school, yet now I mean I get A's and high B's in my first semester of university (which I think it impressive thinking the massive gap that I had and that I have a full time job to try to pay for school) but I still feel that everyone expects me to still be a straight A kid. I love my university, that atmosphere, the classes (the history classes are amazing!), and all the cool things that happen in convocation mall. I'm excited to see what the next semester has in store for me. I am taking a basic French class, I want to be able to speak a second language but...yeah I have never been good at speaking especially in a different language so we shall see what happens.
I still love all my Katimavikers (this was taken from our heart wall, where we posted hearts under peoples names with what we appreciated about them) It's a hard time thinking that this program is "done" I'm hoping that Justin Trudeau will bring it back. Then I will be a Project Leader? Wouldn't that be lovely. Sigh... that would be a lovely career, getting to be part of this program again.
But I guess I will see you guys again in a year. As always you can find me at www.keagerz.tumblr.com I guess this is going to become a thing...I am innately curious, I love finding out what happened to people, the what happened at the end of the story. I mean my story still isn't finished but a year in my life has been crazy wild and amazing. This year has been amazing for me, I'm finally a university kid. Maybe I will be the first person in my family to graduate from a university. I would love to travel. Experience life. I wanna live a crazy and amazing life that no one truly believes was possible. I like to take the side streets of my life, explore every option. That's why I am grateful for an experience like Katimavik, it got me out of my norm. I got to discover who I was and am, that has definitely helped lead me to where I am today. I am happy to be back at university, but I am hoping that before I settle into a career I can travel, live. Breathe in, Breathe out, this is my life and I am glad to have wound up where I am. I am curious to see where this life will lead me.
Thank you Katimavik, 41164.
